As you get older, you'll find that sex just isn't the same as it was when you were young and that you’re going to require new forms of stimulation. This is unavoidable. Your body is changing, hormone levels are changing, and your genitals will respond in different ways to what they did when you were young. The belief that sex is for the young is wrong, and mature gay men can have just as much of an active sex life as anyone else out there. Some older men will realise that the sense of touch is simply no longer enough for them and that they have to consider using sexual aides, or purchasing their first erotic film. Adult Films, sex toys, and new experiences are the very reason why some people are still enjoying and continuing with sexual practices well beyond their 80's. Because of this care homes have had to deal with this and move beyond the idea that mature and elderly people should be viewed as asexual. An active sex life is incredibly healthy for your body and mind and indeed it can help stave off physical and mental illnesses. As such, it’s important to pay attention to your sexual activity and make sure that you just don’t give it up!
The older that men get, the more that their testosterone levels will fall. Testosterone is responsible for a lower sexual drive and low levels of testosterone are commonly seen in older men. Thankfully, in part due to advertising campaigns and higher awareness, more men are seeking treatment for a drop in testosterone which can not only affect the sex drive, but can also be responsible for fatigue, weaker muscles, depression and changes in mood with an increasing of irritability. The physiological changes might include:
- A requirement for extra stimulation to get an erection and achieve an orgasm. Resulting in the need for prolonged foreplay or a sexual aide in the form of a male sex toy.
- Shorter orgasms and reduced pleasure.
- A reduction in the amount of semen being released and the force with which it is released
- A greater refractory period - prolonged length of time required before being able get another erection.
There may be certain anxieties in regards to the changes that occur as you get older, which can affect sexual function. Common feelings are that you're less of a man because you can no longer get an erection like you used to. This is incorrect. Sure, your erections may not be the same as when you were younger but this does not mean that your enjoyment of sex has to change. Accommodations and adaptations for your body can help you in maintaining the active, healthy and satisfying sex life that you want. For example, you might discover that you need more foreplay into your sexual routine so that you can achieve a state of arousal. On top of this, you should be aware that your health is also going to affect your sexual ability. Poor health, and chronic conditions such as arthritis, diabetes and heart disease, can ultimately make sexual activity, intimacy and romance to be far more challenging. This, in part is often due to the medications that are prescribed to treat this which can inhibit sexual function, and this is going to happen as you get older. Getting older is a period of life where you may need treatments for a variety of illnesses, and necessities. Antihistamines, blood pressure medications, antidepressants, acid-blocking drugs, are all forms of medication that can affect sexual function. If you have any concerns about the medications that you are taking, seek advice from your healthcare professional.
Your health can have a big impact on your sex life and sexual performance. Poor health or chronic health conditions, such as heart disease or arthritis, make sex and intimacy more challenging. Certain surgeries and many medications, such as blood pressure medications, antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs, can affect sexual function. That's not to say that you should resign yourself to the idea that you can never enjoy sexual activity again. There are a variety of ways with which you and your partner can experiment in order to make accommodations for yours, or his, limitations. One of the best things that you could do is to speak to your doctor. Your doctor can generally recommend a variety of things that you can try to help alleviate any concerns that you have, for example in the case of having severe arthritis you could use the application of heat to help ease the joints before and after sex. The main thing that you'll need to consider at this point is staying focused, and positive. There's always ways to overcome whatever difficulties that you may face.
Emotional and psychological issues can also affect your sex life and this is irrespective of age. Some older couples will report a higher satisfaction rate in their sex life because they have far fewer distractions, they have more time and they will most likely have more privacy as well. Other couples might feel burdened and stressed by health problems, financial issues or other lifestyle changes. In this situation you could be suffering from stress, anxiety or even depression; all of which can drastically reduce your arousal levels, desire and interest in sex. Depression can be treated so if you feel that you are suffering from depression, have a talk to your doctor or counsellor.
Even if physical sex is something that's missing from your life, intimacy can and should be considered an important and rewarding part of your life.
Tips On Enjoying An Active And Healthy Sex Life:-
- Have an open communication with your partner. Even if it’s difficult but you will need to be honest and open by having a frank and open discussion about your needs, desires and your concerns in regards to your sexual relationship. Anxieties play a big part in sexual function, and overcoming anxieties through open communication can help your sex life. From this point, you might find that the openness will allow you to explore sex and sexuality in new and different ways.
- Speak to your doctor about any chronic issues that you might have and how to effectively manage them. This might include medication and other forms of therapy, and if you have concerns about the ways in which it will affect your sex life, bring it up and talk about it. Especially if you have issues with erections, it's wise to speak to your doctor about treatment. You could even go in as a couple whereby you can discuss your concerns together.
- Ask your doctor for a referral to a sex positive sex therapist. A sex therapist may be in a better position to be able to help both you and your partner.
- Consider the use of sexual aides and toys. There are a variety of sex toys out there specifically designed for couples and single men and these should become a part of your routine. The use of sexual aides will diminish some of the stress that both partners feel when it comes to ideas of performance.
- Penetrative sex is often deemed as the only part of sex that matters. As such, you need to expand upon your definition of what sex is. Penetrative intercourse is only one aspect of sex and sexuality. There are a variety of other activities such as kissing, touching, hugging and other intimate contact which can constitute as a sexual relationship.
- Your sex life will change as you get older as both you and your partner develop different sexual needs and abilities Together you'll need to be open, and honest with each other so that you can still enjoy sexual intimacy.
- Changing the routine of sexual activity. Just because you have had sex on ever Friday night since you've been together doesn't mean that that can't change. If you're finding that you’re suffering from a lack of energy, try having sex earlier in the day.
- Don't forget the romance. Romance can help with arousal, and since it might take longer for you both to get aroused, then it makes sense not to cut out the romance, and to spend more time on romance and foreplay. Consider spicing it up with a sensual massage, or if you respond well to visual stimulus then male lingerie might be the key to bringing some spice and erotica into the bedroom.
- Never give up on the idea of romance. You might have lost your partner and you might not be able to imagine beginning a new relationship, but there's nothing other than yourself which is preventing you from doing so.
- If you engage in a new intimate or sexual relationship with a new partner, ensure that you're using a condom. It is a common practice among older adults to not use protection, despite mature men being at an increased risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection.
Over all, it is important to stay healthy both physically and mentally so that you can enjoy an active sex life.