People feel emotionally conscious as they fail to find the right one for them as they grow older. This is especially true for gay men. Finding genuine relationships for the gay community may be hard but is not impossible. If you are getting old and are still not meeting the right one for you then you need to consider reading this article thoroughly. Today we will give you some “healthful” and helpful tips in our dating guide for mature gay men.
Stay Young and Take Care of Yourself
Stressing about why the right one is not there for you yet will never help you. Stress will only make you age faster, leaving you having a haggard and sordid look. MAGS health and wellness is so important. This is why dating successfully after 40 for gay men starts at striving to look younger and leaner.
For gay men, a youthful look and lean body are essential because it helps to boost your appeal. Achieve this by changing your lifestyle. Avoid sleeping late, eat healthy foods, minimize your alcohol intake, and most importantly go to the gym.
Start Joining Group Activities
You are now ready to mingle with other people. Don’t let your age dictate why you should not and should participate in group activities. Joining group activities is your next step to find the right one for you. You will get to know a lot of people who may or may not share their sentiments about gay relationships with you by joining all sorts of groups.
Be True To Yourself and Ask “What Kind of Relationship Do You Want?”
As you are thinking of dating, you should ask yourself “What kind of partner do I want?”. By having a clear answer to this question mature gay men will have the ability to take control of their relationships. According to a recent study, the reason why most gay relationships fail is that gay individuals are somehow indecisive about their partners. Such indecisiveness often leads to cleavage on his relationship to his partner. Get your game on and determine what kind of partner you really want.
Money Doesn’t Make a Relationship Last
You should be wary if your date is treating you like a gold mine-literally. Men and gay men’s relationships in most cases or seldom involve money. Now that you are older you should not follow this example. After 40, you should have realized by now that people stay because they want to stay and not just for some financial benefits.
Do not let your partner milk you. Remember you need to keep your pride as a gay individual and neet not be desperate for love.
Dating Guide for Mature Gay Men
Once you meet the person that interests you, be aware of the fact that a successful relationship with him or her ( if she is a gay woman) takes time. Dating for mature gay men is not a race where everything needs to be fast. Successful dating in older stages of your life needs a lot of discourse and meetups.
Before you start to make a move try to figure out the habits, talents, beliefs, and ideals of the person that interests you beforehand. Get his opinion about same-sex relationships through casual talks and then try to find the right timing to confess your feelings for him or her.
Accept Who You Are and Your Current Situation
A biggest challenge for mature gay men is to accept who they are and their current situation. By saying accepting who you are we are saying that you should ditch the idea of trying to dress like a woman for this only works at the younger stages of your life. Dress formally like how a straight man should do but add a twist of gayness to your fashion. Go for pink colored clothes and wear makeup in a masculine way. Also, you need to address your current situation to accept the fact that you are getting old, and you should be prepared for the fact that you may never get the partner that you are longing for.
Dating successfully is all about mindset.
Mature gay men, such as yourself, still has the chance to find a suitable partner in life. All that you need and others need is to break free of the prejudice of society. Remove those chains and give love to others without malice and ill intentions.
By doing this, people will be interested and willing to be with you either as a friend or a lover.
Ageism in Older Gay Men
Middle-aged and older gay men experience a more profound sense of depreciation and denigration as they age. This is because, in the context of gay males, youth and physical attractiveness are the most sought-after qualities.
New studies show that older gay men are discriminated by younger more attractive gay men because of their age. The obsession with youth and beauty is present in heterosexual individuals too but it is hyper-concentrated among gay men. This leads to many adverse effects as gay men age such as early onset of depression. Here are a couple of things regarding ageism in older gay men.
What is Ageism?
Ageism is the discrimination of people based on the fact that they are old or getting older. Ageism can both be implicit and explicit. Among homosexual people, ageism is much worse because gay men associate negative stereotypes more strongly in their identity.
Gay men often presume that their young age makes them more eligible. This consequently makes older and middle-aged men feel discriminated against. Older gay men were also highly stigmatized during their youthful years once they identified as gay. This explains why the internal discrimination they face from people with the same sexual identity is more denigrating. Physical attractiveness and youth are disproportionately valued among gays. This makes the effect of aging much worse. Gay men may even presume that they are aging faster than they should.
Ageism among gay men has been perpetuated due to a couple of reasons.
- A stereotype that older gay men are predators. This stereotype emerged due to past laws that separated gay men from children.The stereotype that older gay men may be pedophiles. Negative societal perceptions regarding older gay men.
- Middle-aged and older gay men also experienced internalized gay ageism because they are assumed to be only after sex.
- Older gay men are also more aware of their own identities. They are discriminated by younger gay men who are presumed to be ignorant or simply going through a phase.
Homophobia
Ageism in gays is closely related to homophobia. Homophobia is the discrimination of individuals based on their sexual identity especially homosexuals. Before the legalization of homosexuality across much of the developed world, homophobia was a rampant social factor.
It made gay men feel hated, feared, mistrusted and even unworthy of any social emotion. Although homophobia has reduced, its effects are still visible and older gay men still feel discriminated against both from society and by other gay men.
Internalized gay homophobia is commonly associated with ageism as younger gay men discriminate older gays. Ageism in gay men has also become more serious. This is because the older gay men lived through negative social experiences fueled mainly by homophobia.
Effects of Ageism in Older Gay Men
- Onset of depression.
- Social isolation.
- Increased pressure to fit in and look younger.
- Increased stress.
- Reduced sense of “mattering”.
- Lack of social support.
- Higher risk of suffering from poor mental and physical health.
The number of aging gay men is increasing at an unprecedented rate as society becomes more open to homosexuality. But the effects of internalized gay ageism are primarily caused by the interaction of older and younger gay men.
Accelerated aging may also be felt by middle-aged gay men especially if they do not have a sexual partner and are actively looking for one. Older gay men primarily feel ignored by their community as they age because there are no social support systems that can help them.
Need for Greater Consideration
Older gay men experience dual discrimination because of their age and sexual identity. Although homophobia has reduced in society, there is a need to consider what social structures can be put in place to help to help old gay men.
It is not right that the older men, possibly those who paved the way for younger gays, should be penalised. Older gay men endured discrimination and advocated for gay rights, should not be sidelined especially by their gay community. The gay community should thus be a place where older gay men feel better, appreciated and welcomed.
Finally, ageism among gay older men seems to be a unique minority.
Older gay men may experience depressive symptoms associated with their sense of mattering, being needed and this may hurt their mental and physical health as they age. There is a need to develop structures that will help support middle-aged and older gay men.