Intergenerational gay love and dating is just as complex as any other relationship. It has its own lists of challenges and unique facets as opposed to any other relationship out there. This article is an exploration of the mature dating pros and cons of intergenerational gay relationships. It might present some positives that you hadn’t thought of before. As well as making you consider some of the ‘negatives’ that are often associated with intergenerational love.
Mature Dating Pros and Cons
Pro: The Invigoration Of Life
Humans are naturally drawn to seeking a connection with somebody. A strong emotional and physical connection. Dating outside your age cohort means that you’re potentially opening yourself up to someone that’s bound to have incredibly different experiences and opinions than yourself.It can be about a learning experience for both people.
That is something that is incredibly unique and refreshing, where each person can become re-energised in their experiencing of life. It doesn’t matter if you’re the younger one, or the older one.
A fact is that intergenerational gay dating can become a wonderful facet for learning and discovery. It’s not something that should be dismissed so easily.
Sure, it might mean that you can learn ‘frivolous’ things such as how to program the Blu-Ray player so you can watch blu-ray porn together. Or it might be more significant in teaching both partners aspects of life that they’re never even considered before.
Con: Temptation Of The Taboo
You need to ensure that both parties are entering into a relationship for the right reasons. We’re already gay and considered to be outside the norm. For that reason it’s important to remain confident and mindful if you’re dating someone outside your age cohort. Especially if you’re seeking it for the idea of it.
Some young men think they like the idea of an older male as opposed to the individual and vice versa. Like the person, not the idea of the relationship.
If you’re a younger male and looking at silver daddies for the purpose of them being a sugar daddy – then you’re not entering into it for the right reasons. If you’re an older and mature gay male and you think that a young man will just be happily ordered around, then you might be in for a surprise.
Don’t walk into an intergenerational gay relationship just because the idea of it seems hot. Or the idea that you’re going to learn some new sex tricks. If you’re entering into a relationship purely for the idea of something sexual, such of being a key holder to some toy boy’s chastity. Then you need to make the relationship explicit so that you’re not hurting anyone. Alternatively, just stick to your sex toys.
Pro: Not Settling For Second Best
As humans, we sometimes seek relationships that are easy and comfortable. We date our own age cohort that we meet through friends, family, work and other social networks. They’re usually our own age. If you’re reading this you might be single, you might not be, but either way why not shake it up.
So you’re at an event and you think that the young lad/older guy over there is exciting, engaging and sexy. Why not just go for it regardless of their age? Too often we judge a book by its cover and we’re held back by negative thinking. Check out a dating guide for mature gay men for some more tips.
Break free from those constraints, pick up the person at the bar and just start shaking it up.
Con: Judgement
People thrive on judgement. They thrive on attempting to put others in place, and they thrive on judging a book by its cover.
This is one of the most destructive cons in regards to an intergenerational gay relationship. It could take place whilst out for dinner and the payment is delivered directly to the older male. Or the waiter might assume that he’s there with his son. They see an older male and a younger male out together. All sorts of judgements will inevitably occur which can result in staring, rude comments and even physical violence.
They might see the younger male as having daddy issues, or his mother neglected him when he was young. But the most pervasive judgement would be that the old male is a creep for loving someone far younger than him, and that it is sick and twisted.
Judgement is something that every relationship has to endure in some form, unless you’re a white, middle class cis-gendered couple. Think back to a few years ago when racial mixing was considered to be heinous. People were being disowned from their families because of interracial love.
These days, not only is interracial porn one of the most popular categories of porn. But most people now are not bothered by interracial love.
Pro: Connecting On Common Ground
Relationships should ignore the idea of age and age cohorts. You should be looking for a relationship/friendship based on a solid sense of common ground and interests.
By ignoring the judgement of others what you’ll find is that you’ll have an ability to bask in the amazingness of your relationship. They will see you fully developed in a relationship of mutual respect and interests and they’ll be able to see the exact reason why you two are together.
Firsthand they will see the common interests that you have, and how you both engage in those interests as a gay couple. You might both have a keen love of travelling, or a love of food and dining, or gaming, sports and even exercising.
By connecting on common ground, as opposed to settling for someone within your age group because that’s the right thing to do, you’ll find that you have a far more solid relationship.
Con: The Performance Of ‘Prescribed’ Roles
Intergenerational partners can fall into stereotypes too.
One of those common gay stigmas and stereotypes that are attached to these relationships, is the idea that the active participant is the older male. An older male will direct the relationship. He will be the more active (top) during sexual activity and he will take on a parental role of sorts. This can be dangerous, as if it becomes too parental the younger male might resent the situation and push back.
Older males might decide that they can control the financial situation of their younger partner. And begin to create rules and regulations as to how his partner can spend his time. They also might be inclined to lavish their lover in expensive and branded gifts or even luxury sex toys so that they can demonstrate their love and affection.
Some young men will appreciate this.
Others will become uncomfortable at the attention. In this regard it’s important to ensure an active and open communication so that misunderstandings, and hurt feelings, are less likely to occur.
From this there might be a natural and consensual progression or there might not. Sometimes it’s because the older one likes the power and control. Other times it’s because he feels that he’s lived a good life and that he wants to show his love and affection because he’s in a position to provide and do so.
It may be that he is being misled by the gay stereotypes himself. And he feels that he has to protect and guide his partner because that is what is expected.
Pro: Extended Social Circles
Gay dating has numerous benefits. Not to mention the potential doubling of your wardrobe, or shoes, or even your favourite sex toys. Though it might be an idea to buy some new quality adult toys that you can have fun with by sharing or use as a couple instead.
At the end of the day though, intergenerational gay dating is going to exponentially increase your social circles in profound ways. It’s very likely that you already have your own established social circles. You’re bound to have very different friends, and work contacts that are applicable to your life stage.
An intergenerational gay relationship is going to add a tonne of friends and contacts. You’ll very soon be able to put together different events such as dinner dates, weekend getaways, holiday groups and a house party every other weekend for someone’s birthday.
Mixing your friends is going to have unique and different benefits for all.
Con: The Future Reality
There can be little denying the benefits of intergenerational gay relationships today.
But what about in 20 or 30 years from now? If your relationship has a serious commitment then you’re going to have to face the reality of the different ages. Face the idea that in a few years the younger male might have to care for his elderly partner.
Is that going to work, and will they be sticking around for that?
Mistakes that you made when you were younger were mistakes that defined and shaped you. Are you going to let your younger partner make the same mistakes on their own two feet? Or are you going to be able to help them in a way and shape and guide them differently?
Once the lust stage is over, you’re going to have to face the realities of love. That’s certainly a future that’s going to need to be considered.
